BALANCING WORK AND FAMILY

The big question out now is how to balance work with family where everyone feels there are too much to do in just little time, they feel their relationship, family and children are suffering because of the little time they created for them because of work and they don’t know what to do about it. Because of this precarious economic time and the thought of economic meltdown, they are thinking of holding on to their jobs and these reduce the quality of their home life. The issue of balance is not going to go away but going to be critical for the rest of your life If it is not maintained.

The change of work over and over again will not bring balancing but a change in the Mind, Heart and Attitude of the individual. Following the Philosophy, Psychology, Religion and Metaphysical about life I have come to discover that how well you are doing in life is determined by the level of your happiness. How happy you are is the best indicator that your life is going well or not, you can’t make any one happy if you are not, someone once said you cannot help someone who is poor by becoming poor so you cannot help people to be happy by being unhappy yourself because you can’t give what you don’t have. Resent research shows that children are better off with single parent that is happy rather than two parents that is sad and nagging. Nothing good comes out of something bad.

Before you could really say you want to balance your life, you have to first sit down to reflect your life, to know who you are and you begin with your values;

Ø  What are those things that are really important to me?

Ø  What are the things I care about?

Ø  Why am i doing what am doing?

People don’t get the results they wanted because they've stopped thinking and asking themselves these questions, but they get frecktic  activity they get busier and busier with things with more less value but have forgotten that the ability to think is the most powerful tools they have to ensure a balance and a happy life. Some people had to have a massive failure in life before they can think some life threatening issues while some will have their marriage collapse before they wake up some people needed to be given a hot slap on their face just to call them to order. You need to know that the people in your life are the most valuable thing you have, some parents go the long way to die for their children but dyeing for them is not the issue but can you live for your children? Anything your mind can conceive you can achieve.

Sit down to think and design a perfect life style for yourself, your family and work from dawn to dusk, Monday to Friday, List out your priorities, how you will like to live, stay with your spouse and design a dream life like where would you decided to live, what would you like to be doing, how many hours a day would i like to be doing it, what would you like to be doing in your leisure time, if your company or industry destroys completely thereby leaving you out on the street what will you do?, if you have the chance of choosing your life time work what would you like to do and who would you like to do it with?, how much would you like to be earning, what are the activities you did like to engage in and the people you did like to associate with and especially the time you will like to spend with people that are close to you. Once you have draft out how you want your life style, take a look at where you are now and draw out 3 boxes and name the first one now, the second 5 years’ time and the last future. Ask yourself what you can do to get what I want within the next five years. The best way to predict a future is to create it, the best way to ensure that you are where you want to be in five years is to design it and begin building it step by step and day by day and you will find out you are already where you want to be after five years.

Keep working about your dream list, keep thinking about your idea life and know that all you want to do is right there before you and the opportunity will materialize in no time with all this you need to realize you have to spend much time with your families and relationships. Let me share my little story with you. When I was given Admission into FUTA I never thought of contesting for any position at the student union level until my 200level when my sense of purpose begin to manifest, and before that I have being helping people with relationship issue and holding a couple myself. This made me believe even if I get married I can never have problem in marriage because I fully understand what it takes to be in a relationship or marriage but I was wrong, I was successful in my other relationship because there wasn’t much responsibility committed to me. When the time of our election was announced the work became tensed because I still have a lot to cover before the Election Day which made me to neglect some of my responsibility. To my ought most surprise I lost everything; my relationship, my ambition, spiritual until I got to accept that maturity does not come with age but the acceptance of responsibility and fulfilling it. Life taught me a lesson in a hard way that I will never forget because of my imbalance, there is lot of people out there who had suffered the same fate I did but I want to spare you the pain like Paul the Apostle said those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I want to spare you of this (1corinthians 7:28b).

Here are the keys to balancing: it’s simple but it’s not easy to do it’s easy to explain but very complex to practice.

Do two things: Work and Family and if you are still single replace the word family with relationships, you must keep your life and relationship balance by allocating ambient time to spend with other people, if you don’t you will tend  to go to extreme and become narrow in your focus or become critical in your behavior. In dividing your time between work and family this is the solution I found out working for me and some others, imagine you have a picture of water and you have two large glasses and several small glasses, now imagine that this picture is a matter of time you have each day or each week, imaging that the two large glasses represent your work and family life and smaller glasses represent all the other activities you are engaged in. Think of filling the two large glasses which are work and family to the brim and then allocating whatever water is left among other  glasses based on their importance to you, the big mistake that many people make is that they allocate there water which is their time to work and many to the other small glasses and put what is left over to the large glasses that represent the family, very often what is left over is not enough to fill the glass and that is not enough to fulfill your responsibilities and you ask in dismay where do all the time go. Develop the habit of working all the time you work, don’t waste time when you are on a job if you work from 9am-5pm immediately you close for the day don’t stop and start wasting time on the way. The time you spend socializing at work as to be taken away if you really have a work to do since work time is hard time and family time is soft time your natural tendency will take the hard time you need a way from the soft time, when you waste your time socializing at work you are actually taking time away from your family by spending time with the other person. The question you have to ask is this what you want to do? Is it more important that I spend more time with people in my work or with the people I love or with anyone else in the world? If you really much care about your family you will work all the time you work and when you are at home be with your family one hundred percent of your time, don’t make the mistake of  just being physically present while you are busy with the television or reading the newspaper or even worse working on stuff from the office or on telephone but you need to be there with your family for them to get the full benefit of your present, they need your focus and undivided attention, they need you to look at them in the eye and talk to them to ask them questions and they listen to you and joke with them.

Use quality time at home and quantity time at work and the key to happiness is for you not miss them up

With this little piece I believe we should be able to balance our work and family….. Love you all and hoping to see better families and relationships……..DIVINE.

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